If only we had more time
by Fleur06
Summary: This how i wished it had ended, be better if Rachel didn't die. I loved Rachel and Jack together and wished they had more time together as a couple. Alot is taken from the show, with alot i have added to it. Hope you enjoy it, please reveiw it
1. Chapter 1

_**I loved Jack and Rachel together and how Rachel did love Jack but never told him, I always thought if only Rachel had told him before he died I think she loved him a lot too. There is also a scene with Helen in it, too as I would of loved her to say something to Rachel. A lot of the dialogue comes from the episode A day at the office but I have added bits and pieces to it. I would loved to have changed the ending and have Rachel not die but it happened. **_

_**It has been one of the hardest pieces of fanfiction I have written as I loved the character of Detective Rachel Goldstein and the episode where she died and the one after were the saddest of the show. I Hope you enjoy it and please review it If you like it, Thank you**_.

….

It all started with me answering Jack's phone that morning "Goldstein yeah" and hearing Helen's voice on the other end "Goldstein what do you mean Goldstein I just called Jack's mobile" then stupidly I tried to give the phone to Jack whilst mumbling shit, why did I answer his phone, Jack was lying in my bed again we had been having sex again for a short time now, finally I answered Helen again, I doubt she believed me I didn't tell her I was seeing/sleeping with Jack again as I know she didn't think it was wise but I can't help it, there is just something there and after the incident in the swamp I just had to take the risk again, so putting the phone back to my ear "yeah sorry I was just asleep, we were going at it late last night" which was true we were going at it late last night but definitely not at work "and we must of switched phones in the car and I've got Jack's righto we're on our way I mean I'm on my way and I'll call Jack" the conversation made all the more harder by Jack trying to stroke my neck whilst I was talking and me pushing him away with my one free hand, and of all people I suppose Helen was the better one to find out, but she keeps on telling me not to go there with Jack but did I listen no. I could just imagine Helen's face at work and goodness who else know.

After hanging up the phone I mumbled to myself "hopeless hopeless they're all going to know now" all Jack said was "maybe" did he even care that it was out, probably not as he had been after me for ages and I kept pushing him away so I don't think he really did mind or not, I had then made up my mind then "right I don't…., Jack this is crazy we should never ever ever do this again" hearing him say "I think your right" did I hear him right I thought he would disagree I'm sure he would be saying no Rach I want to continue but he didn't what was happening "Is that what you think" and then all he said was "Yep" whilst scratching his back he did look so adorable with no clothes on so I continued on my made mind up "That's it,, right that's it" then I got up and had a shower did I really mean what I said to him did it really matter that the whole world knew about Jack and I, know that they did, did I really not want to see him or have sex with him again, he was so great in bed, I said that to Helen previously why did I push him away.

…..

The jokes continued for most of the day, from everyone in the team, Tayler talking about seeing Jack Christey in the same shirt 2 days running, Tommy and Gavin about matching phones, the only one who said nothing was Helen, maybe she was disappointed I didn't tell her or the fact after I said nothing was going to happen between Jack and me all those weeks ago when she pulled me aside an I assured her nothing was going to happen between me and Jack Christey and at the time I was fighting my feelings for him but then being stuck in the swamp being chased thinking we could die, I realised life was too short so something did happen between us. We didn't have time to really think about it, it didn't take long to track down the guy who dumped the girl into the harbour but chasing him through the railyard first thing isn't the way to start the day, as Jack finally runs in, wondering how the guy was, hey what about me and my face.

Walking back into the office a while later, I saw Suzy walk out of the office she had been seeing Michael, he turns and looks at me "do you have a problem with me seeing Suzy Abromovich" looking at Mick "yeah I got a problem" Mick looks at me it is obvious he likes her "You don't even know her" then looking at Mick trying to get through to him I did know Suzy she had been around for ages "I know her, I know her, I know shes on the game and I know she's not worth it, Mick you know what's this job like undesirable associations does not look good on your resume right" before turning away from him thinking that would be it "No" as I continue "Nah it doesn't" then as I go to sit down Mick says "How about sleeping with you workmates what does that look like" standing at my desk wanting to sit down hoping he will not continue with this did the whole world know, shit who didn't know that Jack & I were sleeping together "That's got nothing to do with this" hoping Mick would drop it but not he doesn't "Why" it really had nothing to do with him and Suzy "That's a totally different thing right that's got nothing" then Mick interrupts me not letting go of the topic "Why's that" I walk over to him closer then "Why why because it's a one night stand alright it was a hiccup" seeing Mick look at me not really waiting for me to finish "I don't think it was a 1 night stand I think you slept with him more than once" then trying to walk away from him the truth was it wasn't a one night stand it wasn't the first time "I slept with him a couple of times that was it" hearing Michael ask "How many times" I shrugged I couldn't tell him the truth "A couple of times" he asks again "How many" I didn't want to tell him "What do you want to know for" he is persistent 'How many" spreading my arms out slightly "6 alright 6" seeing a smile on Mick's face "6 one night stands, you're kidding yourself Rachel" I don't want to talk about this anymore I didn't want to think about it was more or what was happening between Jack and me it had been on my mind a bit lately what I felt for Jack and I didn't want to discuss it especially with Mick "Lets drop this conversation ok" as I walk away to the white board wanting to get the conversation of Jack and me "You falling for Suzy" not even looking at Mick "Maybe" my face still to the whiteboard "maybe" then Mick asks "Have you forgotten about Frank Holloway" what about Frank, I never slept with him, not that he didn't want me to, but the one moment we had briefly wouldn't of worked out, unlike Jack and I would we work out. Then walking back to my desk "Hey shouldn't you be doing reports for Hawker or something" seeing Mick wave his hand "No done finished" then walking over to my desk "Alright Why don't you go get your nose checked or something" a cheeky look on his face "Or maybe go and see Suzy" looking at him as I go and sit down shaking my head at him "Oh your mad your mad I'm not going to fight you anymore you do what you like alright do what you like" then seeing Mick get up walking over to my desk "I don't know if I like you seeing Jack" looking up at Michael in disbelief "You don't like me seeing jack" seeing Mick look at me a smile on his face "I don't I like that" my mouth open slightly "Why" seeing Mick leaning on my desk a bigger smile on his face "Because you're going soft on me Rachel" looking up at Mick a smile on my face "I'm not going soft on you, Jack Christey isn't going to make me go soft on you" hitting him gently with my pen across the chin then Mick says "I think you're in love" the surprise on my face and voice and Michael is still in the same position his hands on my chest looking at my face was he serious me in love with Jack was he trying to tell me something, did I love Jack "What" as he repeats it "I think you're I love" keeping a smile on my face, was I in love with Jack, looking at Mick my head and heart churning before turning away "Get out of here" watching as Mick walks out of the room "I better get out of here" looking sideways then smiling but I didn't deny what he said "you better" before I glance at Jack's desk biting my lip I don't have time to think Helen walks into the room "that woman Louse she's too young to be Sophies mum" so I look up at Helen .

Then Helen goes on about passing dud cheques I listen but my mind isn't fully concentrating as she walks out I mumble "Michael Michael Michael" was my relationship with Jack more than what I was taking it for, deep down I did know that when I kissed Jack after being in the swamp he would want more and I did know that but what was it we had, was it serious what did I want. Being caught in the swamp with Jack as Davenport chased us it did make me realise that life was too short and when we came back I couldn't help myself I had to kiss Jack and I did want him why couldn't I just tell him that, he wasn't Knocker, nothing like John, is that what I am scared of?, even when he said the other day about a relationship, I still have to say "what relationship, who said we are in a relationship, why do I treat him so badly. As I stand up there is Jack walking down the hallway, all I can is look at him through the blinds I see he is looking at me as he waves his hand, and I smile there is truth in what Michael said why does it make me think do I love Jack, can I just not admit that I do "hey that was quick" seeing Jack look at me, I can't help but stare back at him as he says "I thought I would get this to celebrate a job well done" with us still looking at each other I find myself saying "Actually do you have time for lunch so we can talk things through" walking down the hallway with him to the car as we have to investigate these dud cheques.

….

Driving back from the marina, the job took longer than expected talking to Jack about the job on hand I glance at my watch "oh jeez, look at the time, there's lunch there's lunch" I see Jack look at me as my eyes are ahead on the road "weren't we going to talk" still looking ahead "yeah about us" then glancing at Jack "can we do it later, do it later" seeing Jack looking back "yeah tonight over the bottle of wine" not looking at Jack this time "sounds good, sounds good" and it did, it gave me a bit more time to think, but was that a good or bad thing "I just got to do one more thing before we get to the station, just one more thing just up here" as I drop in at the school to see David. As I walk back to the car, a huge smile on my face Jack says "he's a good kid" a huge smile on my face still looking at Jack "yeah the love of my life" seeing Jack nod at me I can't keep the smile off my face, seeing Jack look at me a look on his face did I want him the love of my life too.

…..

Walking back into the office I see Helen look at me, calling out "Rach, before you finish I need to see you for a minute" shit, I know what she wants to talk about well I'm pretty sure it is about Jack and me looking up at Helen I nod "Just have a few things to do, then I'll see you" walking into the office biting my lips shit shit shit what have I done answering the phone that morning and Michael too, sitting down at my desk I look up as Jack walks in smiling at him, I do like him and a lot, can I actually tell him that so why do I keep pushing him away and treating him like I do.

Rubbing my eyes later on, going through the phone book I need to find this Louise, to tell a mother the truth about what happened. I am slightly tired seeing Jack walk over and sit opposite me reaching out for my hand, I hold his feeling him stroking it "want me to take you home" looking at him the elbows on my desk I can't help but stare into his eyes and I can't help but nod "yeah that would be good" seeing a cheeky smile on his face "you ready for bed?" looking into his eyes still I see hope there and yes I am ready to go to bed with him I still hear myself saying "we have a bottle of wine to get through first" seeing him lean forward a cheeky grin on his face "we can drink that in bed Rach" nodding as I am about to get up "shit, I have to see Helen before I go" seeing slight disappointment on his face "do you have to, can't you see her tomorrow" shaking my head in a way I would love to but I am not going to put it off and in a way I want to speak to Helen "no I said I would see her before I leave" then reaching up to touch his face "give me a couple of hours, and meet me at my house" giving a sigh, I do just want to go home, getting up from the seat I can feel him watching me as I walk out as I walk down towards Helen's office knocking on the door I look up seeing Jack walking down the hallway, waving to me the smile on his face I can't help but smile back.

Walking into Helens office I see her get up "want to go and get some drinks" shaking my head maybe I can put this off "some other time" seeing Helen look at me, the motherly look on her face "one beer Rach, outside, I'm sure Jack won't mind and can wait" nodding biting my lip shit I knew this is what it is about and I can't get out of it so I agree. Sitting on the chair overlooking the harbour I know I should of told her but I couldn't I knew she would disagree "you and Jack, Rach how long has it been going on?" sipping on my beer not looking at her "not long ….. it's …. its just been a couple of times" seeing Helen look at me her eyes raised slightly I doubt she believed me either well I didn't say a one night stand this time "a couple of times ….. come on Rachel ….. how long?" nodding at the first "it… it just happened, I didn't plan to go there" seeing Helen look at me "you and Christey is dangerous waters Rach, you know your history. You and cops don't mix" looking straight ahead in a way it is what Helen and my friendship is straight to the point no bullshitting or anything and she had said that to me many a time "I know I know Helen, it just happened between us after spending the night together being chased by Davenport it got me thinking … its nothing serious" but even as I said those words I wondered if it was the truth was it anything serious or was it turning it into something serious seeing Helen look at me "you sure Jack knows that, you know how he feels about you" biting my lip I just want to finish my beer and finish this talk, even I can't admit what Jack means to me I don't know why I can't say it "Jack and me its …. I can't….. I ." I can't finish my sentence I can't stop seeing him seeing Helen look at me her eyes opened "you're in love with him aren't you Rach?" nodding my mouth open then quickly shaking my head turning it away from her my voice soft "No ….. I don't know Helen…. I really do like him this time and yeah I think I want a relationship" there it was out, I actually told someone, now I just need to tell Jack, tipping back the rest of the beer I get up, seeing Helen look at me a smile on her face "Have you told Jack that?" shaking my head "I want to ….. I just can't … I think there is something wrong with me the way I treat him" hearing Helen say "Maybe its your subconscious telling you something" looking at Helen is it but then I know she does then I hear Helen talk again "He's not Knocker Rachel, Jack loves you" looking out over the water, so did John is that what this is about "so did John Helen, we were engaged I thought I knew John and look what happened … I shot him" seeing Helen look at me her eyes staring into mine "Jack is nothing like John Rach, you know that, you need to tell him how you feel … just be careful alright" smiling at Helen despite it all I am glad I got to talk to her I need someone to kick some sense into me "I have to go Helen, I'll see you tomorrow" as I leave Helen there I can see her eyes watching me as I walk away can I tell Jack, can I actually tell Jack that I love him, I can say it to myself "I love you Jack" there that wasn't hard, why is it scaring me. Hearing my phone ring, maybe it is work, yeah maybe then I won't have to tell him for the time being.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you everyone for the reviews. It is a hard fanfiction to write wish they had a conversation about how she felt. There will be a Jack chapter after this too and maybe a Helen too. **_

**Sorry it has taken so wrong to update hope you enjoy it for the time being. **

….

Arriving back at my place I walk inside, putting my stuff down, I walk up to my room picking up my diary who would of thought Rachel Goldstein kept a diary, I burnt the journal I kept with John and then started writing again, opening to where I wrote a while ago admittedly I hadn't written much lately was too busy most nights with work or Jack or both. Picking up a pen, I write easier to write it down than talk to people or admit the truth seeing it down of paper was still easier than telling Jack, hearing the door ring, I quickly close the diary putting it back where it belongs. Hurrying down the stairs opening it there is Jack there holding the bottle of wine out, looking at him standing there, I pull him inside mumbling "I can't help myself" kissing him roughly before walking to the kitchen, watching as he puts the bottle down, all I want to do is have sex with him but I have to be strong and talk to him or do I it is so tempting just to drag him up to my room.

Sitting on the chair next to him, I feel his eyes upon me, I am sure he is wondering what I am going to say to him looking at Jack damn he looked so cute, talking about work was safer than talking about us, but it isn't long before Jack said "weren't we going to talk" leaning on the lounge my elbows resting on the edge "I thought we were talking" I knew what he meant I said we would talk about us seeing Jack staring at me I nod "Yeah about us" seeing Jack's face I know he wants me even though I am awful to him "I like the sound of us … Rach did you mean what you said this morning" looking down and not at him I can't say it, I need to but why is it so hard "what was that?" seeing Jack moving closer to me his voice low and soft "never doing it again?" I shrug why is it so hard to just say it "I dunno, what do you think" I want to say it I really do but I can't even after everything that has happened between Jack and me, he still wants me "Rach you know how I feel, I want you" I know he does and I really don't deserve him "yeah I know … I want to ….." then saying it quickly "I want to see where things go with us" I can't even look at him now I have said it "You mean have a relationship Rachel" looking up at Jack the hopeful look on his "Yeah I do" resting my elbows on the edge of the couch my face slightly tilted, I see a look on his face "You do realise a relationship is more than just rooting" looking at his face I am ready to hit him over the head why did he have to make it so hard even treating him like shit he always came back for more "really is that why you're not in one" seeing Jack coming closer towards me shaking his head whispering "its all those fish in the sea, so many fish, so little time" shaking my head with him what have I gotten into as I hear him whisper "you ready for bed yet?", I nod "we haven't finished our drinks" as Jack leans closer towards me as I put the glass down our lips meet watching him in a haze his voice soft "I can think of other places we can drink other than here" shaking my head at him "my sheets could have wine spilt Jack" seeing his eyes look at me hunger in them "what am I going to do with you Rach, by the time I finish with you, the wine spilt will be the last thing on your mind and you sheets will need changing" picking up our glasses taking them up to my bedroom the conversation was less painful than I imagined or thought but there was still one thing I hadn't told him why were those 4 words so hard "I love you jack".

Rolling over in bed later on he is amazing in bed, I see Jack stroking my head his voice a whisper "are you sure about this Rach?" turning to look at him seeing how much he does like me in his eyes, wondering if my eyes are saying the same thing I do love Jack, but I just can't tell him, one step at a time nodding at him I am sure, this is what I want, I want Jack in my life "I think your stuck with me Jack" hearing his reply "there are all those fish in the sea" shaking my head feeling his gaze upon me my voice barely a whisper "what am I going to do with you" all I could feel then was his lips upon me as he whispers "I can think of many things".

…..

Waking up in the morning I go to grab the clock, shit I forgot to set my alarm whispering to Jack "oh shit we're going to be late" then rolling onto my side all I can do is mmmmmmmm as I see Jack looking at me moving towards him as our arms go around each other again.

Racing into work I knew I would be late, but it was worth it, opening the door I see Helen standing at the desk "You're late" raising my eyes slightly at her "traffic" hearing the door open not long after I hear Jack's voice "traffic" not even looking at Tayler on the desk I glance at Helen her eyes raised questioning me I smile at her about to go upstairs when I hear Helen call out "the taxi driver is on the move now, Gavin and Tommy are following him" nodding at Helen I hear Jack say "Let us know what they find out" and as I am about to follow Jack I hear Helen's voice again "Rach" turning around to look at her moving closer "I take it last night went well, just be careful" nodding I wish she would stop saying that I am more than aware of my past with guys especially ones I work with but I am sure this is different "Stop worrying, I know last time didn't end well, but this time its different" seeing Helen look at me, was she wondering why or the fact that cops and I really don't mix "why because you're in love with him" turning around I didn't answer her, I couldn't because it was the truth I was in love with him, I just couldn't tell him.

Walking out of the Water Police base for the evening the events of what we found disturbing as a mother seeing the faces of those young kids in the container the adults too, just left to die suffocate the images stuck in my mind. Walking into the pub seeing the team there, one quick drink before heading home, waiting for Jack here instead of home, looking up it isn't long before Jack arrives at the bar, feeling his hand on my back as a look up at him, I want to keep it a secret for a little while longer before the whole world knows.

(_Sitting at the table Tommy, Taylor and Gavin watching as Rachel walks in, seeing Jack put his hand on her back Gavin turns to them "why does she want Christie when she can have me" laughing at him as Tommy replies "she has taste" watching as Rachel looks up at Jack there is something between them, they are sure of it" _

…..

Walking inside the apartment closing the door turning to face Jack I could really get use to this. With my feet curled up on the lounge snuggled into Jack watching TV before I know it I hear myself saying "maybe you should just move in" I see him looking up at me surprise in his eyes I can't believe it myself I just said that when I hear Jack's voice Did I just hear you right" then shaking my head "just forget it" seeing a smile on his face "no way Rach you want me to move in with you" not able to look at Jack I just made an idiot of myself "It's fine it was a stupid idea" feeling his hand on my face pulling it towards him "it is a great idea as long as you are sure Rach, what about David" nodding at him "I'm sure, David will be fine, he is only here every 2nd weekend thanks to his dickhead of a father" a smile on my face "I could just kick you out every 2nd weekend" seeing him shake his head "nah your stuck with me now" watching him get up "what are you doing?" seeing a cheeky look on Jack's face "I'm going home to pack now" standing up grabbing him pulling him towards me "not so fast, that can wait this can't" wrapping my arms around him pulling him close to me, as the kissing intensifies I feel Jack's hands unbuttoning my shirt moving around as he fumbles with my bra our clothes fall to the floor we fall back onto the couch as his hands move around my body.

…..

The day is spent interviewing Axe Grevell the pickup is tonight Monday, everything needs to go to plan such a huge operation this passport scam. Is there more than 15 people dead we do need to work it properly from our end for something that was meant to be so minor has turned into something major, federal police had to be notified too. Dave Mcall he couldn't even get a numberplate of the car for us what did I say to him "are you new at this or something" he turns around and calls me a smart arse just great what are we going to do now the jet ski picked up the passports from the drop off we did and then we lost him. Now we had to come up with another plan.

Sitting at my desk I can't sit still, walking out to the balcony I look down there is Mick deep in conversation with Suzy again, shaking my head what is it with guys. Walking back inside I look up as Jack walks in memories of the previous night come back to me it that is a sign of things to come him moving in I can't wait watching as he looks at me as he leans down to me touching my chin "I can't wait for tonight, I'm going to cook you something special to mark our living together, it is going to be a special night" a smile on my face as he walks out I didn't even see Mick walk in "Oh Mick, when will you learn" seeing him smile at me "Rachel, you and Jack hey more one night stands, have you stopped kidding yourself yet" seeing the smirk on Mick's face as he walks over to my desk "I see the way you look at him" looking up at him trying to put some warning into my voice "Mick" all he does is laugh "I better go" I nod at him "yeah you better" as he walks out I hear him call out "Can you cover for me, I'm going to see Suzy" shaking my head at him will he learn, how does he know more than I do am I that transparent am I the only one that doesn't know or want to admit it.

Walking into the lunch room I see Helen there, walking up to her sitting down opposite her "Helen….. I think I did something stupid" seeing Helen looking at me probably wonder what it was or was it I told you so you and relationships "I asked Jack to move in with me" seeing Helen trying to control the surprise and the smile on her face "Now you're not too sure or you don't want him to" looking at Helen what was I saying shaking my head "no…. I do" seeing Helen raise her eyebrows at me "I want him too ….. I love him" there I said it to Helen why can't I just say it to Jack seeing Helen look at me "have you told Jack that?" looking around how can I say to her that it is hard and I can't instead I bite my lip "I have to go".

Helen now wants Mick on duty so I try to call him, damn him his phone is turned off, doesn't he realise he is jeopardizing his career with Suzy his mobile just went dead, oh Mick not even going to think was going on here . Helen is now trying as I walk out, Helen calls out "Keep your mobiles on" I turn around to face her "don't' nag" was I walk away I would love to toss it away it is what caught Jack and I out.

As Jack walks Axel out along the water Tommy asks him "Jack what do you have here" smiling as Jack replies "I can't tell you mate if I told you I'd have to kill you" seeing Tommy looking at him "Oh I won't keep you we're just going for a drink" as I run to catch up to Jack "oh have one for me won't ya" as Gavin turns around "I'm sure your getting yours later Rachel" as Tommy and Taylor laugh at hi and I hear "ohhh" as they all walk off laughing. I turn around trying to look stern no smile "Gavin" as I point my finger "come here" as the others laugh at him a huge smile on their faces as he puts his head down walking back to me "sorry I was just joking you know" I grab his chin and squeeze it "your cute but that will not protect you" as I gently slap his cheek "I'll be waiting for you" a huge smile then develops on his face "you promise" as he walks back Tommy looks a huge grin on his face as I go to walk away "you two have your own mobile phones on you" turning back round to face Tommy pointing at him calling out to him "you're not even cute" as they laugh loudly and high five each other I am never going to live that down. As I walk towards Jack who points at them "you behave yourself" as we then quickly talk to Axel. Going to the pub sounds so much better even if I would have to put with all of that. They still haven't been able to get hold of Mick so only the two of us.

We wait in the dark for the phone call, then finally the phone rings we have to try to listen to see what we can get from them. Helen says "Rachel be careful" did she know something we didn't know, doesn't help that Axel is now saying things he didn't previously about the phone I was not starting to get slightly nervous we were meant to have a nice dinner. I say to Jack "what if he gets the call and he tips them off" Jack was the one calming me down . As we travel though the city following him, I am starting to get nervous where is he taking us Jack is trying to be the calm one. There goes our dinner tonight I have a feeling we won't get home until late will I be able to work with Jack and live with him we spend enough time together now yeah he has annoying habits but despite it all I want to be with him. Waiting as Axel pulls over how long does it take to make a phone call, as Jack gets out of the car he takes off I call out "Jack jack he's moving" as we quickly turn around, I hear Jack on the phone to Helen as we pull up at white Bay power station. Once we arrive and out of the car my nerves have gone slightly the bastard has vanished. The power station is huge though as we quietly look around .

We have looked around and lost Axel, where on earth did he go, coming back to Jack again smiling at him "come on lets go and get a drink" as I put my gun away "yeah" Axel is nowhere to be found as he talks "I'm calling in the boys they are going to be real happy " as I cover my eyes I am tired and move them down my face and want to get out of there "don't maybe the dogs will pick them up outside" as he gives a small laugh his eyes looking at me as I look back at him "yeah" as he says "they'll be more happy about that" "Yeah maybe Axel isn't as dumb as he looks" watching as Jack walk down the stairs continually talking as I follow him as I near the stairs about to go down I hear a noise behind me.

I go to withdraw my gun as I hear the noise and see the person, surprise on my face at who it is they walk over to me, as I feel them stab me before I can even pull my gun out, the pain over bearing I hear the gun shots ringing out as Jack is shooting at them, I grab my stomach moaning/crying I hear Jack's voice "Rach Rach oh Rach you alright" then I feel his arms around me, "its ok its ok its ok cmon cmon" and hear him on the phone "Helen, its Christey" I feel Jack's arms around me as he carries me out, every move he makes I am in pain and cry out, I don't want to die I can't, I have Jack and David, the pain of where he stabbed me the shock of seeing who it was I never would of guessed it was him, feeling Jack hurrying out carrying me, his arms around me, Jack just says "Just hang on Rach, just hang on alright, you hang on now, Rach, you hang on, okay? You with me? Come on, come on, come on girl... Hang in there. It's not too bad. You're okay" all I can feel is the pain then I feel him lowering me to the ground putting me on the ground his arms still around me "you're alright. I'm sorry" with the pain becoming worse I need Jack to do something for me as I clutch him trying to sit up "Do me a ... David, David ... Tell him ..." he has to then I hear his voice "No, no, you'll tell him" I need Jack to do this for me "Please? ..." as I hear Jack's voice again "You'll tell him, Rach" I can feel the pain easing my voice nearly crying I need David to know "Please? ..." as Jack says "You will ..." I know he doesn't want to think about it, but I know I am dying and I want/need David to know begging with him pleading by now tears in my voice "Please, please, Jack, please, Jack ..." I hear Jack speak again "Alright, I'll tell him, I will, I'll tell him, alright?" with the relief that he will tell David I start to fall back my tongue over my lips I can feel myself losing consciousness my grasp on Jack goes but he still holds me with both hands "Rachel, Rach, Rachel ... Rach, I love you Rach! Can you hear me? I love you, I love you, I love you so much ..." I start to gulp I am struggling even more to breathe now, I can feel my head going backwards and yes I can hear him and want to tell him that I love him too, but the words don't come out and I do love Jack and a lot but I see Frank in front of me and I say "Frank? Is that ... Frank ...?" " I stare at Jack but can't focus I see David waving good bye to me the other day my son, I feel the life slipping away from me as I see David waving to me. I hear Jack saying "come one just hold on for me, ok" I want to say it "I love you Jack because I do, I love him so much" I want to hold on for him I do but I can't as the strength leaves me the pain is over bearing I gulp dying in Jack's arms.

…..

Goldie's theme then plays (this song usually sets me off, as I associate it with The Day at the office where she dies) as she is lying in jack's arms as he is holding her against his body pleading with her to be ok and come back.


End file.
